Wolfhealer Writes

Good morning monday, Monday’s are complicated… aren’t they? I think aunt flo is finally  going away - after 3 days of crankiness - or today will be the hardest day this cycle and I just have a couple hours off - or she just gave me 5 mins to get up and pee lol- this was a record @ 120 days tween cycles - at 365 they consider it true menopause.  - I am unsure yet which way to day she's going to run with things, at least the incubator is still up and running in case I win the IVF lotta and can “buy fresh eggs” as my ivf doc. suggested a few years ago. This is hard because I could have done IVF 2 rounds over if I hadn’t been trying to support other people’s goals, and it’s part of why finding out after the fact about things being different than I knew is hitting so hard. I had like two other chances @ this if I had known how things were going to pan out, and I banked on other people’s dreams and them following through on their words. Now, I won’t be able, even working ful...

What it took to get baseline: Prednisone no matter what - I decided I would take enough to breathe even though I didn’t know why (I know now) for as long as it took no matter what else it did to my body. Trust my gut (deciding to) no matter what - and do it all if not sure it was done (dog care) and all the things that just seemed off. Deciding NOT to wait for evidence but trust my gut, and let evidence fall into place. Give up my walks and routine self care until house and dog care caught up and til I figured out what was going on or got it all done Hold ground no matter how much pred and coffee it took to stay awake longer and later Give up caring what people think about how controlling and bitchy I look while I rooted out the lies Going “on strike” and saying I will not pay for anything else for anyone else until I figure out where my money is going, who is lying and why the house and dog yards aren’t looking like someone is here full time taking care of them. KEEP standing up and ...