Ann’s Next Growth Spurt in Communication and Integrity - Gossip and Clean up June 2017

Ann’s Next Growth Spurt in Communication and Integrity

Gossip and Clean up

I have been doing some deep thinking and processing now that I can get my head above water over the health stuff.

When I took the wisdom course, I took the communication new paradigm of not gossiping to heart and in  most/many areas of my life have taken a stand for clear, open non-triagulatory communication, that happens with consent, knowledge, love and respect.

Looking back I can see that I made a very significant wrong turn being away from wisdom class too long.

This was one of those things where I felt something in my gut but didn’t quite listen to myself.

I have been sort of not gossiping – for about two years now 

Gossiping in  terms of … it’s not ok to gossip “except” …..

My except wasn’t “except if helping”, “except out of concern”… it was “it’s not ok to gossip EXCEPT to a primary partner”… “except” it didn’t register as gossip to me – it read as a throwback to my monogamy communication – pre landmark – shit I was raised with patterns.

In the communication world I was raised in – it was always ok to tell your spouse or S/O anything… even about other people, even without their consent, even if it was private, even if it would embarrass or hurt them if they knew it had been disclosed. The primary relationship was immune to those other people’s needs or wants in that world view.

I am doing this differently now. 

I have come to see that for myself – gossiping  closer in, is even more hurtful and damaging, not the opposite.

Many people got caught in the cross fire before I figured this out over the last couple months and really saw it clearly. 

My most important relationships have been damaged, bent, broken or lost as a direct result of this communication pattern.

I am changing it now, but to change it need to start from a clean /clear declaration.

I going forward won’t be talking about people without their explicit consent and knowledge EVEN with and to my primary life  partners.

I may fall down and glitch and hit some bumps but this is one of those life changing, permanent things for me.

I am so very embarrassed, ashamed, hurt and saddened by the effects my words and carelessness have had on people and relationships I love and cherish.

I will do the work to clean it up. I am heart sore and so sad about the damage.

I am trying to make this a “learn from and grow thing”.