updates - cars and headaches and one more step up getting on business wagon again

Ups and down and side-wayzes

Soooooo MUCH to juggle-ify

I made it through the headache/spinal cord right side of body numb thing yesterday without going over into the 20 mg pred range -

2.5 @ 6am

2.5 @ 8 am

2.5 @ noon ishy w a ¼ perk boost

2.5 @ 2 pm

5 before bed = 15 mg - which usually on a headache like this I gotta push it to 20 or 25 but I am stressed about puffy face and didn’t want to go backwards if i didn’t have to

I have to keep reminding myself that the A1C number reflects the winthrop vacation and food binge clear back when I was eating allll the things on the nebulizer and the high pred - the diet (as in what i eat food plan not starving self)  has actually  leveled off in stages 3/4/5 weeks ago - but the test shows all 3 months and I WAS eating all the sugar in january and february …. Most of the sugar - too - high symptoms have already abated or are so minimal that they aren’t affecting me much

All the support Nathan and I got REALLY helped - most people  who helped save us this time mentally helped behind the scenes

We are thinking we can get dining room knocked back into submission with the sorting today and find that counter bar and only have 2 or 3 boxes to put up in the living room and then all the main spaces are actually functional. Sorting the middle bedroom is something that can be done whenever and isn’t a stress when people come over - but getting through this one part of dining room and living room makes it feel like an actual house house & home home.

Business is limping along - some parts great, my core of main favorite clients keeps me from running and ostraching - and the warmth and support about all the body stuff

Staying home today I should be able to get the next rung of business stuff caught up - and get all my requests for screening that have been totally ignored since jan ishy - i tried to answer a few then kept getting sick again and gave up. (THIS IS sooo not like me  - these are things I usually check daily - work daily) so it means writing up a draft to cut and paste about why I am so behind and then following up with personalized emails) this is still my achilles heel for getting back on work wagon - it’s the meeting new clients - who requested time based on my pre-puffy appearance - I some how need to write something up that apologizes for delay - reduces perception of flake factor and restores professional integrity and addresses the weight /body issue without being overwhelmingly long for a never - has met me yet - communication. Once I get through that hurdle (I need 2-3 hours to write this and start seeing how many backlogged screenings are there)

This part is emotionally hard for me - full of the anxiety - but once through it should be able to keep going less stressed.

I have also pinged argo to get the gallery caught up - I have been steering people - not towards website cause feeling weird about pix not accurate…  I MISSED my ten years celebration on April first.. But once galleries and this back log are brought into integrity I will plan something fun for my clients - and do some heavy advertising  - ten years. Wow.

The other big thing is the money - nightmares still - and panic as soon as wake - missing work this week with extra period and stress and stuff has left me $1600 down for the week. After coffee will stare the exact amount straight in the face but for sure bank account is down $400, mortgage is behind but I am getting that fixed next week, cleared pup chicken but cell and cable are likely to go down any min - need to look at other parts of this after pups out and take a deep breathe - then start pricing out clutches for cars - this is a hard one to face - if I had been able ot work mon-wed I would have staid level this week instead of going backwards.

The cars: oldblue is running now - engine wise - but all 3 blue cars need clutches… I keep telling people I am going to need to get a costco 6 pack of roo clutch bits. I worked out a trade yesterday for an engine hoist! No cash outlay - I get it tuesday …. So now I just gotta get clutch bits and schedule argo - mechanic if he is willing …. Then car will be stable enough for work for nathan - right now car can do local trips like vet, safeway, emergency stuff - but it’s missing a few gears so we aren’t quite just one car-ring it - but more like 1 & ½

And the emotional part with Nathan and I  - is upsy downsey - VERY related to sleep deprivation and money stress and time pressure … and Nathan having lots of projects to manage that aren’t things he has a lot of experience with. Which triggers his anxiety  - so we are both doing best we can to manage our hi anx - we have made great strides in reclaiming tenderness -but yesterday got allll stressed with wolfy and money and timing and sleep dep… and of course that’s when argo and carrie are here and it looks like we’ve been in that pattern the whole time - so embarrassed… but today is better, over all …. Okay - off to walk the mama mori down in the sunshine to her day kennel :)