CeleSaddery Sexuality May 2020

Simultaneously grieving and celebrating a relationship.

I am so grateful for having Nathan Cole to snuggle with every nite and for my life and kennel partnership.

I am also so disoriented, sad and befuddled @ finding myself without a primary sexual relationship. Especially in these times of social / physically distsncing

As hardwired poly as I am , I am not one for seeking sexual relationships outside my home, I like to fall in bed with my partner (s) and fall asleep entwined, or wake up in the friskiness.

Play parties are fun and fine, but my true joy in  sensual satisfaction falls with long term partners in my home and hearth and surrounding by puppies, or while traveling with my beloveds.

I am not seeking dating with this post.... there isn't  a dating or secondary relationship style that will "fix" this. There is nothing actually wrong... it's just a very different stage than I was expecting to find my/ourselves in.

When Nathan and I started our partnership he was new to dating and we have wound our way through him discovering things about his expression - from bi, to situtional, to demi, to lovingly poly with all genders, but physically attracted to the other food group.

PLEASE do not read this as an opportunity to request a sexual upgrade to an existing friendship, I am not open or ready for that.

I need time to just accept that life looks different and begin to imagine how I want life to be shaped going forward. To brainstorm what /will make me happy.

Its been 8-10 years since I have had to think this through and usually it's been feast rather than famine … so it's ok to not be juggling right now... I just need to be with the sad and the JOY of having a wonderful snuggle partner... especially at  time when most people are finding themselves, esp. poly people cut off in ways they never expected.

I just need time to cele-sad-reimagine AND for people to be happy and cheer Nathan on as he navigates the strange waves of how 'da heck to date when new to dating In covid times and explain to potential partners, yes I really AM … and yes  really do have a female life partner that I want to keep - no I don't want to move out..... yes I am keeping the puppies.... AND want to date.... Sounds like fun times to be had as we learn, grow, and celebrate each other.




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